I’ve compiled a list of the top ten reasons to get an online job, from a student’s perspective:
10. You can’t stand looking at your bosses’ crack when he bends over any more. Even though you know it will be gross when he drops his pen for the 8th time, you just can’t look away! It’s so hairy.
9. You just got written up for taking your friendly flirting with your smokin’ hot co-worker a little too far. The stop and look surprised while grabbing your chest when girl walks by and saying, “Whoa, I’m sorry, your beauty is just heart stopping” line just didn’t fly this time…
7. You like chicken, but you don’t like it enough to give it a bath, wrap it up in a batter and flour blanket, and take it to the hot tub for a soothing 12 minute soak every day. Dinner rush is no time to relax, SON!
6. You have like, a 100 things to do today, you know? Like write your stupid history paper that is like, due at freakin’ dawn’s crack, and study for your super boring biology class ’cause there’s a huge test on Friday, and you can’t miss Megan wants a millionaire, oh yeah I forgot, that show got canceled for being so lame. Seriously, like you have a 100 other things you have to do right now!
5. Any adult that says, “I wish I were a teenager again, because I had no responsibilities to worry about”, needs to take a sweaty sock and it eat for breakfast.
4. The feeling you get when you look at next week’s schedule and you realize that you’re going to have to make the biggest decision of your life because you have to either tell your boss to change your hours or tell Victor that you can’t pick up his mom from the bus station on Tuesday. Oh crap, what to do, what to do?!
3. You are so done with saying the drive thru greeting the “correct and professional” way, so you start throwing Irish and Mexican accents on it just to see the customer’s faces when they realize you’re just a skinny Korean kid.
2. You can only stand this crap for 5 more days, tops! Alright, maybe a week and a half, but then, you’re outies! Oh wait, no son of your pops will ever quit. Looks like you’re stuck forever my friend.
And the number one reason to get an online job IS…